Old age is a scary thing indeed.
I haven't written it's been a very long time indeed. My thoughts today are too strong to be kept to myself . So here's me lightening my brain.
Some background: a week ago was the first of January. Like every year, first thing in the morning we seek the blessings of elders. So we dropped by at my dad's old aunt's place (not that we don't often do so).
She'll be around 88 years of age, not so much strength anymore, gets lost in her thoughts, doesn't remember faces (she asked me around four times who I was). All in all, we took her for a ride today around town, checking out the new mall. I was being her guide, telling her how things have changed. She was holding my hand the whole time. She was telling me how she is scared to be alone at home, how she might get attacked and how happy she was that we took her out, she even started crying but I blackmailed her into not doing so.
On our way back, I was thinking about the woman I knew when I was a kid and the person she transformed into, sitting next to me in the car, sipping grape juice and eating lemon biscuits. The roles were reversed. Suddenly I was the protector and she was the protegé. This was a woman who in her prime days walked tens of kilometres in the search of grass and wood in sun and rain alike, who reared cows, who worked the sugarcane fields ardently.
Another thought occurred to me, in a few decades, I'll be like her: old. How will I, someone who loves her freedom with a passion, cannot stand being dependent be it to people, things and even thoughts, react given her situation? The answer I got was: probably not as well as she is handling it.
We'll all have to face old age (those who make it that far that is) and the finally die. It's not optional. Like a friend just told me: it's up to us what we make of the situation we are in. Therefore hopefully I'll live as long as I can put on a pair of jeans and swing my hips to some séga and bhojpuri song and do so as long as I live. The moment I can't do the above anymore, I'll know my time has finally come. At the end of the day, we're all just experimenting with life.
PS: Happy New Year 2012 All!