April 6, 2012

Love, Relationships, Exes, etc...

We all want a fairy tale love story with a prince on a white horse
prince chamrming on white horse
and/or a sweet beautiful princess
sweet princess of disneyworld
It's what we've seen since childhood (I'm a huge fan of Classic Disney movies). But more often than not Mr Prince Charming and Miss Dream Girl are stuck over their exes. Even we've been there at some point at least once in our life. We've all thought "Oh! My life means nothing without this or that person. How can I live without him/her? and bla bla bla . I can love no other this much and bla bla bla again". But how can you make such claims? Have you lived through the whole of your life already?

No matter how smart you are, the drama of the situation gets the better of you. *Sigh*
Quoting from an article I recently read, Karma and Relationships :"There are men and women in their 30's and 40's that are still in love with Mr. or Miss. X from 1962!"

Seems pretty lame put like this, doesn't it? They probably met in their teens which is barely 1/4 of proportion of the time they'll live and they spend 3/4 of it lamenting over something that didn't work out. That seems like such a waste of resources and potential to me. Yes, they were very important to you and you were very important to them. Yes, you thought they were 'The One'. And no it didn't work out. Get over it. There must be a reason why it didn't, right? It's like keeping in your house the dead body of your beloved. It's fine for a few days but after that it starts decaying and it's downright harmful to your health and that of people around you. The logical thing to do would be to morn but then bury the corpse.

Nevertheless, they may get into other relationships, get married, have kids but still to them their heart belongs to this or that person. It's unfair towards the person in their life currently. Please don't think someone else can help you get over another. It's not true. The work is internal, private and has to be done by oneself. It doesn't mean forgetting, neither does it mean pretending that it never happened. It's acceptance, making peace with what is and keeping the door open for new possibilities. Take your time, one month, a year, ten years(that's way too long), all the time necessary but don't walk around stinking of past relationships and poisoning current ones.

I'm not saying the next relationship will work, nobody can say that. There are no guarantees in life, if there were it would be staged drama with a written plot. That's the beauty of it. When you're free from your past, you can be a 100% in your present. If it doesn't work out, you walk out with your head held up high, purge and get ready for the next one. And please have enough respect for yourself not to be at the receiving end of "You can help me forget/get over him/her." Chances of that happening are very slim (because you cannot control what goes on inside another) and chances of you being left feeling inadequate and unworthy are definitely higher. You may not be a genius but don't be not that kind of stupid either, even in love.

Some may disagree but at the end of the day it's just me giving my opinion about the experiment of life. Everyone is entitled to theirs ;)


  1. Indeed, mourn your old relationship as you mourn the dead and when it is time move on.

    Very nice post btw!

  2. Thank you, glad you appreciate :)


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